You may recall that Caryn Hartglass had me on her radio show to talk about Bones & All and veganism a couple weeks back. If you listened to the segment, you heard me say—quite emphatically—that I believe eating animals is immoral.

As I spoke those words, I felt a little cosmic tug on my sleeve: You have to explain this. How can I assert that eating animals is immoral without implying that all the omnivores I know are immoral too?

I do think eating animals is wrong, yet I dearly love many people who do. My parents. My grandparents. Almost all of my family.

My friends: Seanan. Kelly B. Alex. Ailbhe and Christian. Shelley and James. Liv. Mackenzi. Elliot—one of my very favorite people in the world—celebrated his thirtieth birthday last weekend with a backyard pig roast. Dude ain’t going vegetarian anytime soon, but he’ll always be the brother I never had.

Am I silently judging my loved ones? Do I love them in spite of their diet? Do I tell them I love them while in my secret heart believing that I am a better person than they are? More evolved than they are?

Nope.

We just have to chalk this up to an irresolvable paradox. I claim the right to be able to say these two things to the same person:

You are one of the VERY best people I know.

AND

I hope that someday you will extend your love and compassion to all sentient creatures, not just our fellow humans.

I know it’s hard not to feel like I’m judging you when we talk about veganism. I know it can feel awkward when the conversation wanders toward my diet, philosophy, and worldview, and how it contrasts with yours. But please know that I don’t love you in spite of our differences; I just love you.

That’s the point of veganism, after all: unconditional love.